Happy Birthday To My Blog

Today is an important day in my life and it all has to do with this blog. Today is the 5th anniversary or birthday of my little blog here and I can't quite believe that it has already been five years! Where does the time go?

First of all, starting this blog was one of the best things that I ever did. Writing this blog has been very cathartic especially in the early days and it has brought me such healing. When I started on this journey, I had no idea how much a seemingly simple act of writing a blog could do so much in my life. I can remember myself very vividly on the day that I wrote that first post. And in reading it back today it is like going into a time machine. I remember being in a state of mind where I was still grieving the loss of my mother even though I thought that I was doing okay. Also, I was recovering from an injury that I had suffered in a car accident. And I was trying to work through major culture shock. I didn't write it all out in that first post, but I alluded to it a little. If you'd like to read my first post you can do so here.

Even though I didn't scream it all out in so many words back then, I remember that time very well as I look back and I see some growth. No, I don't have it all figured out and I don't think anyone does, but as an ad used to say back in the day... You've come a long way baby!  :) I haven't really thought about all of this a lot because I've just been living my life, but I guess that's how it is, isn't it? We go forward and take stock from time to time, so I guess that this is me taking stock. Just like everyone else, I'm a work in progress and this blog has helped me immensely!

I had thought about starting a blog for a long while before I actually started. And then one day I just decided that this was the day and even though I couldn't have known what it would bring me, deep down inside I knew that putting my words out there would start my healing. I know it may seem like I'm making a big deal out of starting a blog, but I can't overstate how much of a lifeline it was to me as I started out.

I started this blog on March 4th and as I mentioned in my first post, there was power in the date. When I say the date, I take it into my consciousness and "March Forth" and to me it means to march forth into your life. Words definitely have power! I took a deep breath and plunged right in. And even though it was a simple act, it was my act of going forward in life. I could hear my mom saying to go on and go forward. My mom figures very prominently in the earlier days of my blog and I know for sure that having this blog to write definitely helped me to cope with her loss. I still miss her every single day and I'll miss her, my dad, and my brother for the rest of my days. But I know that writing this blog has given me the outlet that I sorely needed in those early days and I am grateful.

And speaking of gratitude, I want to say a HUGE thank you to you, my readers :) I appreciate your support so much and connecting with many of you through email and social media has been a pure pleasure. I know that my posting has been rather sporadic over the last three or so years. It's been nowhere near as frequent as it was in the beginning, but I thank you for sticking with me over these years. As you may know, for the last few years I have been taking up some university study so my posting has been all over the place and nowhere near what I would like it to be. But with all being well, in about three months (fingers crossed), I will be done with that and I can recommit myself here at this blog that I love so much. I want to return to the much more vibrant posts of old and I hope that you will come along with me as I reboot my creativity and share my little corner of England with you :)

So in closing I'll say...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

FROM A YELLOW HOUSE IN ENGLAND

 

Have a great day everyone and hey, have a piece of cake! :)

April Snow & Mom

Today would have been my mom’s birthday. I love that it falls on a Sunday this year, because she loved Sundays. For a while after she died I disliked Sundays because she died on a Sunday. It hurt so much that I just couldn’t face the day somehow. But I am coming to know bit by bit that time does heal, because last year on her birthday I was sad. I was wishing that I could call her and wish her a happy birthday. But something has shifted within me, without me even noticing very much. She has been gone a bit over two years now and there is something settling within me. I will never ever forget her, but it seems that I have been unconsciously creating a place within my heart just for her slowly, bit by bit. So today, on this Sunday, I rejoice in the fact that this was her favorite day of the week, and that her birthday falls on this day this year. I am getting to the point now where I am seeing the beauty of the fact that she lived and not concentrating on when she died. To have lived is a joyous thing and I saw how much she meant to the world she left behind when we had her funeral. So I am proud that she was my mother. My mom was a sunny person, no matter the circumstances, even though she was like many and had some hard times in her life. She had that something within that just wouldn’t be beaten. The outside world couldn’t take away her smile or her good attitude. That is how I want to be one day. I have read many things that tell how to be like that, and yet, my mom was that way and didn’t get it from a self-help book. (smile) So with the sun shining today, on this Sunday that she loved, I think of her smile and remember how she lived.

It’s funny, even though it is a sunny day outside right now, we actually woke up to snow this morning. They had forecast it, but as we all know, sometimes they get it right and sometimes they miss it by a mile. We were forecast to have snow recently and it didn’t materialize. It’s just how it goes. Yet today the snow arrived. When I looked outside, there were beautiful fluffy white flakes of snow all over the grass and flowers. The roads were clear though. It was gorgeous. Bit by bit the snow has melted and the sun has been shining very beautifully today. All of the snow is virtually gone now, except for some shaded areas in our back garden. I will post a picture of what it looked like nestled on top of my almost open tulip. The snow was nestled just so on the tip of the slightly open tulip. It made me smile when I saw it. My mom was a keen gardener and I always tell Brit Boy that she would first laugh and then be proud that I seem to have a way with flowers. I always thought before that there was no way I had inherited her green thumb, but now I think possibly narrowly maybe. (smile) The jury is still out on that one. But I was so proud that the tulip bulbs that I planted in the dead of the cold English winter, have indeed come to life. I used to kill every plant I had before, but something has changed. I don’t know what. (shrug) Anyway, I smiled this morning when I saw the tulip with snow because it was like a wink from my mom. It was like “happy birthday mom…happy Sunday…and hey look at the snow in springtime” that I was sharing with my mom for that brief moment. So I think I have passed another tiny milestone in how I feel about my mother passing on. Deep down, I know that she is okay and I will be too. Happy Birthday Mom!