Yesterday was my mom's birthday. She's no longer here on Earth, but I know that love never dies. I didn't post about it yesterday because I needed time to be with my thoughts and I didn't know what to say, if anything. Well, I still don't have anything profound to say and I know that I don't have to do that. Put simply though, all that I thought about yesterday and still today is that when it's all said and done in this life, the thing that matters most is...
This is my beautiful orchid :) My hubby gave it to me as a surprise gift about three weeks ago and it is still beautiful and thriving...fingers crossed ;-) I've always wanted to try growing and caring for an orchid, so I'm excited to give it a go. The flowers are seemingly so perfect that they don't look real. Orchids are just exquisite!
I'm been studying up on how to care for this beautiful plant. I love plants and gardening, so I'm hoping to develop a true green thumb like my mom had. She was a great gardener and could grow just about anything of the floral or vegetable variety.
I'll share updates from time to time about how the Yellow House orchid is doing ;-)
Well, another year is coming to an end and it has me in a reflective mood. There have been highs and lows in addition to the middle that holds together day-to-day life. In the end, it's all good :)
A year ago on this very day, I wasn't very well at all, so I'm extremely grateful in this moment to be able to sit here and type these words. I wasn't at death's door or anything, but I was confined to bed. So it's a blessing to be upright!
I have always loved this day...December 31st. I really feel it. It's like teetering on the edge of a cliff and waiting to leap over an invisible line into the next chapter. Forgive me if I'm rambling or if I lose you here, but this day always makes me feel like I'm truly a part of "Time". I feel a connection with the past and the future at the same time. It also makes me think of my mom. This was the last day that I spent with her in 2005. It's bittersweet, but I relish the fun that we had and I'll carry that with me for the rest of my life :)
Tonight along with everyone else, I'll say goodbye to 2016. I know it's a bit of an understatement, but it's been a helluva year! So many beloved people in our collective popular culture have left us along with those who we may have personally known and loved. I'll tell you something. It's all made me cherish life even more than I did already and it's reminded me to love even more.
Even though I'm no slouch...lol....I'm gonna do my very best to go just a bit harder on top of what's normal for me, in pursuit of what I want in my life. It can't hurt, huh? :) It's not a resolution...I've just gotta do better.
Thank you for visiting me here in 2016. I have more photos, thoughts, updates on my book and things to share, so I hope that you'll come back to see me in 2017!
I wish health, happiness, love, and the best of everything for everyone in 2017!
Today is Mother's Day back home and it makes me think of my mom. I think of her every day because I miss her and I wish that I could talk to her one more time. She's been gone eight years now. I never stop missing her and I know I never will, but I have more peace now when I think of her than I used to. A lot of the sadness has been replaced by my good memories of her :-)
I hope that everyone has had a good weekend. Mine was pretty good. Today I thought that I would simply share a picture in line with my previous promise to share more about my day to day life.
So here it is...
I got this tin of hot chocolate in the lead up to Christmas and I have been enjoying drinking it here and there, especially when it's been chilly outside. Hot chocolate always reminds me of my childhood. My mom used to make such good hot chocolate for me and to this day I still can't make it taste like hers. I guess it was magic! :-)
Still, this hot chocolate is okay. Not my favorite, but okay. The plus in this whole thing is that after it's empty, I'll have a neat tin to store things in, so I'm excited about that. I love storage ;-)
I've been up for a while today...way too early for a Sunday morning, but I guess that I'm awake early for a reason. Perhaps just so I could get this post in ;-) Anyway, it's been a pretty good weekend so far. Yesterday we went into town for a few things and to mail off some Christmas cards.
In the photo above: These are the airmail decals that I have to place on the letters along with the regular stamp. I didn't send this many cards...lol. I just have a bulk of these that I got for free at the post office a long time ago. Enough to last a lifetime probably ;-)
I love sending Christmas cards to people, especially in this age of e-cards and other techie ways to keep in touch. Don't get me wrong. I send e-cards and do all of the social networking things to keep in touch too, but I think that it's cool to at least try it the traditional way once a year. International postage isn't cheap, but I try to plan ahead to have the money available. And it isn't an amount that will break the bank anyway :-) I look at the postage as another Christmas gift on my list and it is chopped up and spread to several people instead of just one. This is the only time of the year when I get to send cards to my friends and family back home, so I truly relish it. It's a win win in my book!
My mom used to love to send Christmas cards and she did right up until her last Christmas. I would usually be drafted in to write quite a few of them out for her and I got hand cramps, but I knew it was important to her. It was a tradition. She didn't send a tremendous amount of them out, but she had a nice little list of core people that she had known for decades and she made sure to send a card every year. Interestingly, when I was helping her to write out her Christmas cards leading up to her last Christmas, I thought to myself that the list was dwindling so much in the last few years. I thought about how I had known some of those people for most of my life and how quickly life goes, so indeed we must relish every day. And I remember thinking how it wasn’t all sad because we were so lucky to have known those good people. Life is a joy despite everything, because of the people that we have the pleasure to know on this journey :-)
I know that I probably remember that Christmas very vividly because it was indeed my last Christmas with my mom. Otherwise those thoughts that I had while writing those cards probably would have evaporated from my memory. It is six years ago now and I’ll never forget that December and I’ll never forget the lesson about connection that my mom taught me by example.
I know that sending Christmas cards isn't everyone's thing and I'm not trying to convert anybody ;-) I just thought that I'd share a little piece of my memories and if nothing else, you get to see my airmail decal stash. Lol.
So even though I’m 4,000 miles away, I value the connections that I have and I know that making the effort is all worth it because I wouldn’t miss knowing these good people for anything in the world! :-)
Today is a good day at the Yellow House. As many of you know, tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the USA and even though I’ve been living here for five and a half years, the tradition is still very much celebrated in this little house. Brit Boy loves the holiday too, and has always been a very willing participant in the celebration. So it is nice to share this holiday with him and embrace the gratitude and connection of the day together.
We’re actually going to celebrate on Friday because Brit Boy won’t have the day off on the actual Thanksgiving Day tomorrow, since the day isn’t celebrated here of course. He is having the day off on Friday so we can have a long weekend together though. So that will be nice. It’s going to be great no matter what day!
My thoughts are all over the place today, but in a good way. I’m having a hybrid of memory and new traditions going through my mind. Today I’m remembering the last Thanksgiving that my siblings and I had with my mom six years ago. And in the spirit of gratitude, I’m so grateful that we were able to be together like that, with her sitting at the head of the table at my sister’s house and giving us that beautiful smile of hers. I remember a lot of Thanksgivings fondly, but that one stands out to me more than any of them and it will stay with me forever. She was happy and that is the way I remember her. She loved the holiday season, so Thanksgiving and Christmas were her times. Right after Thanksgiving she would pull out her Christmas music and sing her way around the kitchen all the way up until Christmas. It’s interesting when you look back at a person in all of their glory and you really ‘see’ them. I realize now that besides all that she taught me in being my mother, she also taught me a lot about being a human being. My mother didn’t have the easiest life by any stretch of the imagination, but she had the greatest joy for life and she lived in the moment. I loved that about her...
Later this evening, Brit Boy and I are heading to the supermarket to pick up some ingredients for our Thanksgiving dinner on Friday. I’m making some of the standard traditional dishes that I grew up with, but I’m going to attempt to make a new dessert. I know that lots of people make pumpkin pies, but in our house it was always sweet potato pies. That's what I love though...there are traditional foods that we all share in common on that day and then there are regional variations. Variety and tradition living side by side is a beautiful thing. I’m still going to make regular sweet potato pie, but I’m going to try this recipe that I found for these mini pies with a cream cheese type topping. They looked good when I saw them on the Food Network last year, so I’m gonna give it a whirl. Wish me luck! ;-) If I go ahead with trying it, I’ll share how they turned out...for better or worse. Also, it’s usually a customary challenge to find substitutions for some ingredients here. But after these past few years, it’s become a standard part of my life, so it’s kind of like a game now. Lol. It should be fun! I embrace the challenge!
Tomorrow I will get my dessert making done so that I won’t have that to on Friday. And hopefully if I get it all planned out right, I’ll be able to check in by Skype with my niece and have some laughs. We did this last year and it was fun to have virtual back home Thanksgiving. I got the chance to check out their food and it was a good time. My niece is twenty-one, but you would think that we grew up together because we laugh at the same stuff and have a good time on Skype. So I’m looking forward to that with my sisters in the background :-)
It’s getting very thankful around here and I’m looking forward to it all! I want to wish a Happy Thanksgiving to everybody out there who celebrates the holiday and a great Thursday tomorrow to one and all!
In my last post, I said that I would be doing a food post. Well this is a post about a craving and not about something I've cooked. Oh I wish that I could right now. I don't have any on hand, but I know that I will have them again ;-)
For the last few days, I've been thinking quite a bit about one of my favorite foods and it's something that I can't readily get here...grits! :) I never in my life thought that I would miss any food so much. And here's the thing, I'm not a person who just has to have certain foods on a regular basis. I'm not usually a craver, but I am truly craving grits these days. And just to clarify it all...I'm not pregnant so it's not those kind of cravings. LOL.
I get the worse cravings on weekend mornings because that is when I would have them mostly. I guess that they are a fully entrenched food memory. Grits make me think of home and my mother cooking them for our breakfast for decades. I know that there are people who hate grits and can't understand the fuss and that's cool...I respect that everyone's likes are theirs and this like is truly mine :) I was thinking about it the other day and yeah, my craving can be reduced down to simply having a taste for grits. But also I think that they were such a part of my experience as a southern girl and that connection with my culture is so strong that an ocean can't even keep me from it.
I am happy most days with my different life here in England. But sometimes I miss the simple things about back home so much. The list changes depending upon my mood that day. And it's not one of those grass is always greener situations. I'll tell you, I've learned one thing about having lived in two different countries now...there are bad, good, annoying, and uplifting things about both places. Neither one is better than the other...they each have things going for them for sure. I'm not trying to sell grits to anybody or even attempting to validate my love for grits. I don't need to :) I just thought that I would make my perspective clear. Love is love and I've got it bad and grits are it baby! LOL.
Food memories are great. I guess that's the good thing about food memories or regular memories...you always have them to call upon whenever you want to remember a person, time, or a place. I know that we can't go back in time and it's not good to always be looking back, but sometimes it doesn't hurt a thing...especially when you're trying to remember the taste of grits! :)
I’ve gotten behind on my posting lately. I can’t believe it’s been nearly three weeks, but I’m back here again and I’m glad to be here. Just like many of you, life gets busy and some things slip...and my blog slipped way down the list ;-) Anyway, I’ve returned so thank you for visiting me again!
I was going to post about my food adventure in this post, just like I promised in my last post, but I just wanted to ease back in with one of those take a breath posts. I’ll do my food post next time.
Spring will be arriving in a few days and it brings to mind the feeling of renewal. Both of my parents have been on my mind quite a bit lately, so when I snapped the photo below of the daffodils blooming in our backyard, I thought of how I love and miss both of them. These daffodils remind me of being back home when I was growing up...when my parents were both alive. I love spring because it makes me remember the longer days and my daddy being out in the garden. I remember the smell of the freshly plowed earth and all of the planting going on. It's amazing how those little things stay in your mind forever.
So I welcome the arrival of spring and I pray for good things ahead for all of us everywhere, all around the world.
It’s been a while since I did a cooking post, so it just seemed like a good idea for today’s post, since I need to get back into the blogging hot tub. I don’t love to cook, but I like it pretty well and hey, we've all gotta eat don’t we? For those times when I don’t want to cook, a frozen dinner is my best friend ;-)
There are times when I like cooking and times when I loathe it. It’s all about balance ;-) In those times of enjoyment, the thing that pulls me in is the chance to be creative, so that aspect is right up my alley.
I truly enjoy watching cooking shows, especially Barefoot Contessa. Her food inspires me to want to cook EVERYTHING and do it well. Her variety of dishes that she cooks always inspires me to try something new and I’ve learned lots of cooking techniques from her, so I love me some Contessa :-) And as a fellow Georgia girl, I love to watch Paula Deen when I’m back home visiting. I can see the Barefoot Contessa on the Food Network over here, but they don’t show Paula Deen here. So that’s where the website comes in handy. Anyway, that’s enough of my TV favorites for today. Pardon my detour ;-)
So this past weekend I cooked cornbread muffins…well actually cheese cornbread muffins. I had a taste for some. I’m not a really big fan of cornbread or any bread really, but sometimes I get the taste for it. It usually coincides with me thinking about home or back to the times when my parents were still alive. When I was growing up, my mom made cornbread everyday and I used to love to watch her make it. The memories that I have of watching her make cornbread stick firmly in my mind. I don’t know why. I guess it’s the everyday normal things that you may take for granted at the time, but when you look back, those are the things that are burned into your memory forever. As time goes by I realize that memories are TRULY the beautiful things in life :-) The simplest, beautiful things…
Over the Christmas holidays, I received a package from my sisters and I had mentioned to them when we were Skyping once that I couldn’t get cornmeal very readily where I live. So I’d asked them to send me a small bag if they could. Well, in the Christmas package there was the cornmeal…just like my mom used to use :-) The sight of the bag instantly filled me with nostalgia. Here it is:
Yeah, I took a picture of the bag of cornmeal…it’s an expat thing. LOL. Anyway, I made some cheese cornbread muffins and they turned out pretty good. My mom was strictly old school though…she just made straight cornbread and hers was great, but I love to play around with a recipe from time to time.
I’ve been nibbling on these muffins all week and yesterday I crumbled some up in a bowl of soup…mmmmmm. Now that was good! Next time I may try putting some other flavor in there to see how it turns out. See, it’s that creativity thing again ;-)
I realized the other day how much I used to love posting about my culinary creations in the earlier days of this blog and I realized that I don’t do that much anymore. Well that will definitely be a returning feature here. I’m no chef or even a really great cook, but I just love mixing stuff up and seeing what happens. And also I love photographing things…and that includes food, so I hope you’ll come back and see what I cook next :-)
(above)Spring blossoms from back home in Georgia, March 2006
Happy Spring everyone! :-) I know that it may still be cold in many places, but hey, the calendar says that spring has arrived so I’m onboard ;-) Even though it has been rainy here today in Wiltshire and it looks more like winter, I’m gonna be optimistic. After all, spring is a frame of mind as well as the true changing of the season. It’s renewal :-)
This day, in the past, has been a conflicted one for me in a way, because I love all of the optimism of a new spring and yet it’s the day also that my father passed away, many springs ago when I was a girl. I’d say in the last ten years though, I’ve made peace in my mind and made space for both thoughts of this day to exist in my head. I think of him every day as I do my mother. And on March 20th every year, he is very present in my thoughts. These days it’s easier than it used to be. Now I honor my memories of him and rejoice that it’s spring too. I feel as if the best way to honor his memory and my mother’s is to celebrate the life that they gave me and to be here to witness the renewal of life that spring brings :-)
My mother loved gardening and her flowers were her pride and joy. Her green thumb was legendary and I hope to be like her in that way one day. Every time I see a pretty garden here, I think…”Wow, Mama would love seeing this.” So spring makes me think of her getting excited and guiding me around the yard to see what she had “coming up”, as the young plants poked their heads out of the soil :-)
My father was a gardener too, but his area of expertise was growing vegetables. When I was really little, one of my FONDEST memories is of following along behind him as he dug holes in the soil and let me drop the seeds in. Even though the vegetables really did their thing in the summer, it was spring when the preparation for vegetable gardening would begin. I loved it!
So spring for me is about renewal, possibilities, and a whole lot of memories of the two people that gave me room to grow :-)
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I also wanted to share a few springy photos. Some of you may remember that a couple of weeks ago, I shared a photo of our crocuses announcing spring a bit early. Well, I wanted to show you all what the flower pot looked like this past week. Things have definitely filled in and the daffodils are getting ready to bloom. I’ll share the daffodils when they open.
I love blogging. It’s a great way to connect with people from all over the world and also it’s a great way to step back and look at yourself a bit. I’ve been blogging for about eighteen months now and my 200th post is approaching fast. Who would’ve thunk it? (smile) I wonder if I can make it to 300???? (laugh) That’s a thought for a day almost a hundred posts away.
So anyway, I was having a think over the last few days. I was thinking of how I could share more about myself…not that I’m any more interesting than everyone else…cause I am so not. LOL. But, I think the joy of blogging is sharing bits of ourselves with others and then enjoying it when they share things back. I’ve connected with some amazing people over the past eighteen months and I probably wouldn’t have if I hadn’t started blogging.
So I got inspired and I had my camera handy and here’s what I came up with. I’m gonna let you see what my messy (smile) little bedside table looks like right now. (smile) Well it’s how it looked last night when I took this photo. So here’s how my bedside table normally looks. I hope you enjoy peeking into my world for a minute.
As you see, I love my books and that stack changes periodically. There’s usually a novel or two there, along with some kind of writer’s reference book or something about writing. And you see here on top of the stack is a little brown book. Well that’s my date book from 2008 and yet I still have it. I usually make notes of things during the day, so it’s kind of a resource now. I probably need to transfer the notes elsewhere into a newer book, but hey, I figured that once I got past the midpoint of this year I figured I may as well keep it. It’s part of my history now. (smile)
Of course there’s my handy dandy red lamp. It doesn’t look like it gives off much light here in this photo, but it is quite a spotlight when you move it around. It’s very adjustable. Plus, this way, if I want to read on my side of the bed, I won’t disturb Brit Boy. So it works out very well and was only £5. Gotta love a bargain. (smile)
Towards the front I have my moisturizing centre. As I’ve written before, I have a hard time with the cold weather here and what it does to my “used to Georgia weather skin”. I’ve acclimated a lot, but I still get dried out like you wouldn’t believe. So this year I’m getting a head start. I’m starting to use this big jar of moisturizer on my hands before the true cold sets in and they start to crack and get raw. And I’m using this little tin of lip balm too. I usually moisturize anyway, but I’ve found that I need a bit more here. But it’s all good…I’m hopefully just laying the groundwork to have glorious skin when I’m 80. (wink)
You can also see I’m a fan of pens. I usually have a pen and a pad of paper so that I can write down stuff. As I’ve written before, my mind usually comes alive overtime at 11am and 11pm, so when this strikes at night, I write what I don’t want to forget on a pad so that I CAN forget it and go to sleep. I’m a big fan of fountain pens, so my fave one is always nearby along with my regular ball points.
Also you have my earrings here…they usually just get dropped where they land if I’m really tired. But mostly I put them away. Last night I guess I was tired. (smile) And then there’s my pink glasses case. I see fine, but I wear glasses when I’m on the computer…it helps my eye strain when I'm in computer land.
Lastly, standing tall and elegant is my little lady figurine that I named Azalea that I bought for very little at a store here. Don’t ask me why I named her Azalea. LOL. She looked like she would have a flower name. She’s lovely and art deco-like and her skirt reminds me of a vase we had back home when I was growing up. I guess I like her just for that reason…she reminds me of home. (smile) And that thought of home back when my parents were alive, gives me a restful way to go off to sleep. It lets me know that things are gonna be fine and more often than not gives me sweet dreams :-)
We had a good weekend around the yellow house. We really didn’t do anything big, but it was nice to just have a slow, easy weekend. It was a time to just soak up the brilliant sunshine that we’ve been having over the weekend. It’s still sunny today…hooray! (smile) It’s hard to keep my mind on anything because I just want to be outside all the time. Yeah, I’m crazed right now. LOL.
Anyway, on Saturday, we went into town to do an errand and then had some KFC. It was good since we don’t have it very often. It made me think of summer days back home. Brit Boy remarked that everything looks happier and more laid back when the sun shines. We are so alike. So we finished up our eats and then headed home.
We took the scenic route home back to our more rural area and then we kept going a bit. The thought of Wiltshire in the sunshine was just too good to pass up, so we drove a bit past home, further into the country. It was absolutely gorgeous! Wow! With the sun shining, everything was just so much more green and beautiful. The rolling hills with livestock dotting the scene, and little farmhouses scattered along the way, made for a postcard ready picture.
Then it was time to turn around and head back home. Brit Boy wanted to watch a big football/soccer match. But it was fine…I had enough of that natural beauty already stored away in my brain. (smile)
While Brit Boy was watching his match, I took out my laptop and started something I’ve been meaning to start working on. You see, I’m very interested in genealogy. I always have been. I’ve always loved wondering about the people who came before me. In the future, I’d love to write a full history of my family on both sides based on the family trees I’ve done in the past. So my bit of research Saturday was a step along that path. I want to fill in some cracks and pull it all together.
I thought that I’d start with my dad, who passed away when I was a child. My dad was several years older than my mom and I came late in his life. So he lived a lot of his life before I was born. Lately I’ve been very intrigued to find out more about the time he spent in the Army during World War II. I very often wish that I had been a bit older when he passed away, so that I could’ve asked him more about this time in his life. But I was a kid who was playing with her Barbie, so I didn’t think to ask very much. (smile) So now I’m going to put my love of research to good use and find out what I can on my own.
I got my first find pretty quickly. I did a search in the National Archives and found his military service during World War II listed there. It was a cool moment. I got this tingle down my spine seeing his name there with the details that let me know it was him. It was like I was reaching through history and touching my dad’s hand. What a wonderful feeling. (smile)
So now, I’m going to continue since I’ve finally started on this journey. I didn’t get to know my dad for very long, so in a way I’m reacquainting myself with him after all this time. I hope to weave together the story of him, my mom, and all those who came before me. Looking back keeps me grounded and I love it sometimes. In the meantime, I'm going to live a life in the now and hope that I have something of my own to add in the end. (smile)
Today has been such a beautiful day. The sun is shining and there isn’t a cloud in the sky. What a way to welcome spring. Today has been a day to enjoy for its beauty and also for me, today has been one to take a look back.
After we ate, we took a good look around. Then I was stopped in my tracks. They have a section with old-fashioned candies and there on a stand was a colorful array of huge lollipops. I used to LOVE these when I was a little girl and I haven’t seen any of them in a long time. The thing is, it was great to see something from my childhood, but what really touched my spirit was that my dad used to buy those for me when I was little. Here’s where I got goose bumps. Today marks the day thirty years ago when my dad passed away. So when I saw these lollipops, I took it as a sign from my dad…like he was saying, “I’m never too far away”. I smiled when I saw them and it brightened my day and lifted my spirits. What a beautiful moment. I would love to talk to him as an adult since I was a child when he passed away, but over the years I’ve found a certain amount of peace and I keep good thoughts of him and my mom in my mind. I loved the lollipop so much that I had to buy one (smile). Here it is.
As we were driving out of the parking lot, I snapped this photo of a wicker type man they have out front. He is very earthy looking…don’t you think? I love him.
And also I took a picture of a lovely spot on the way back home. All of the daffodils and trees are blooming out.
When we got home, we went out into our backyard and I took some photos of our pretty little flowers that are coming alive. We planted these bulbs back in the dead of winter and now they are showing off all of their colorful beauty and they are the essence of life.
So as I mentioned at the beginning of this post, today was a day of the beautiful, the bittersweet, the joyous, and things came full circle. Even though this is the anniversary of the day when my father passed, all that I could feel was the joy in the fact that he had lived and he was my dad and he loved me and I loved him. I’m reminded that there is joy in life around us every day and through me and my siblings…my parents live on :-)
Yesterday was an eventful day. Brit Boy and I had to go to the hospital early in the day for my appointment. We left home early so that we could get there on time, but of course, we met quite a bit of traffic. It was wild. I didn’t know that many people lived out our way. LOL. Brit Boy thought it was more busy than usual too. Anyway, we took a detour here and a detour there and we finally made it to the hospital with a few minutes to spare.
I had to go back to have a check up again because I’ve been having some problems with a bit of pain in my breast. They wanted to have another look at me since the last time I went.
They checked me out again and the good news is, I’m fine. I don’t have “the disease we all worry about”. I have a bit of lumpiness, which they say happens a lot, so I’ll just have to keep watch over it. And to tell you the truth, I was relieved, but the whole thing hadn’t been taking over all my thoughts. I guess that is where faith comes in…you believe that things are going to be okay and if they’re not, then you rely on faith to get through whatever is ahead. You know, I wish that my mom could hear me say that, she would be amazed. (smile) She used to advise me to not worry so much, but I think that this was something that I’ve had to grow into. But I will say, I’m not some robot who had no thoughts of what could happen. Of course I had that thought, and it scared me for a minute, but then I just said, okay, let’s just see what they say. I don’t mean to come across like I’m oversimplifying it, but I was just simply glad that I’m okay (smile) What a blessing.
To change gears…after we left the hospital, I went along for the ride with Brit Boy while he saw a client. Then we came home and celebrated Shrove Tuesday, also known as Pancake Day here. We had pancakes for a sort of early dinner. Hey, we both love pancakes and we don’t have them very often, so they were great. Brit Boy eats them the British way with a bit of lemon juice and sugar, while I eat them with maple syrup. Delicious! (smile) We were happy campers.
In different places around the country, people have pancake races, where they run along with a frying pan which has a pancake in it and they try to run and flip the pancake as they run along. Brit Boy and I didn’t have our own little pancake race, but maybe next year ;-)
Anyway, it was a nice light-hearted way to end the day. Long live Pancake Day!
Today is the one year anniversary of the day when I passed my Life in the UK test. I loved that day a year ago. I had made it over a hurdle and I was one step closer to settling here in England. I felt good about myself that day because I was going into a territory where I couldn’t ask a friend what it was like, and I began to relish the unknown.
This was a great step ahead for me on my path back from being so depressed after my mom passed. I had just sort of checked out on my own life before this. So preparing for this test was a great help in getting my mind going forward again. It was a baby step and it took a string of baby steps before I was able to look in the mirror and see me again.
I think that January 30th will always be a special day for me. It was a day when I got my confidence back. It was a day when I reached a goal. It was a day when I started to ask myself ‘what next’ again. And to evolve in life, I realized that growing is what I’m here on Earth to do. And that’s what makes life exciting for me :-)
This is a day of reflection for me. It's the day when I remember stepping back into life again with both feet.
I’ve been a bit absent from my blog the last few days. Brit Boy and I have been wallowing a bit more in the afterglow of the holidays before we go along with everyone else into the first full week of the new year :-) So we chilled out this weekend and didn’t go anywhere and it was just great. Saturday we slept in and we relished just sitting around watching movies and just letting the day happen.
Then on Sunday we woke up at about 8am and turned on the TV and started watching this show about people going into the second act of their lives and doing something they always wanted to do. It was great. We ended up watching about three hour-long episodes from bed with one trip downstairs to get green tea and we so enjoyed both…the tea and the show.
They were showing episodes all day. We were so enthralled that we couldn’t tear ourselves away. So while we were getting dressed, we recorded what we were missing. We were hooked :-) But it was good to be hooked on this.
When we were dressed and were sitting down to have lunch, we picked up with watching again. I guess that we were both so into it because we were open to what it was saying…that it’s never too late to do something different with your life.
Brit Boy and I are at a point in our lives where we have been out of school a couple of decades, so we have experienced life a bit. But the way we look at it, there is more experience, life, happiness and fulfillment out there to be had. So I think that we both were very receptive to this show and ready to receive the message. Most of the people on the programs were a decade or two decades older than us, but age was irrelevant in the end. You don’t lose your passions in life just because you have counted more birthdays. What struck me was the underlying theme in all of the episodes, which was to do what you want with your life now, while you have your life to live. Most of the people profiled on the show had long held dreams of pursuing something else, but had to make a living at something else in order to raise their families. Then their kids grew up and they decided it was time for them to take on the second acts in their lives. You could see the twinkle in their eyes along with a bit of anxiety, but it was the greatest thing to see people rediscover a part of themselves.
Seeing this show was so timely for me personally. I wrote in my end of year post that getting separated from Brit Boy twice while we were in London was a good thing for me. Well I feel like the London experiences and how I have been feeling lately and even this show have all converged at this moment to pull me out of this sleep I’ve been in somewhat for quite a while. Sometimes clarity comes in roundabout ways :-)
In a couple of months, I will have been in England for three years and it’s only now that I am really starting to take a real look around. To be truthful, it has been scary. When I moved here, I was doing a whole lot of things at one time. I’ve read since that there are certain life experiences that knock us for a loop even when they are good things. This article said that death of course shakes you up, but the list also included: leaving a job/changing careers, getting married, and moving to name a few. Well, when I came over here in March of 2006, I had done all of them at the same time. I left my job right before Christmas in 2005; eight days later my mom passed away; then I was still trying to be optimistic about getting married (I loved Brit Boy and wanted to marry him, but I was so sad about my mom. I just wanted to go to bed); and then I moved away from the familiarity of home across the Atlantic and I was not myself. Like I said, there were happy things in there, except for my mom’s passing. The good things were things that I wanted, but grief turned everything so upside down.
So I arrived here seriously diluted, but it was sink or swim, so I tried to swim. That didn’t work out so good. I had been here before many times, but visiting is nothing like living somewhere and the culture shock that is normal, just hit me full on as it mixed with everything else. It was too much to take, so I shut down a lot of who I was before. I got married and then I became a lady in waiting…waiting for what I didn’t know.
As I’ve written previously, it’s taken some time, but now I’m finding my groove again. A LOT has challenged me in the last few years and day by day, the Dori I knew before has reappeared, and a lot of that started with beginning to write this blog. And I’m so grateful to all of you that come here to read what I write. It has been so therapeutic to just show up here. I’m more of who I used to be, but there is also change in me…one of the beautiful by-products of living life. We grow :-)
Now that I am getting more connected with myself again, I’m asking myself lately…”So what do you want to do now Dori?” Well, I have a few ideas, but they aren’t in full focus yet. However, that show yesterday showed me that you should just go for it in life. So I think I will :-) It's so true what they say...life is short. My favorite line out of “The Shawshank Redemption” is, we should…”get busy livin’ or get busy dying”.
So I’m back on my journey again and I hope to explore life more here on my blog in this brand new year.
Happy New Year to everyone! I hope that everyone is well and that this new year brings many blessings into your lives. Brit Boy and I spent New Year's Eve here at home with our chips and dips and drinks. We watched the fireworks in London on the television and then toasted in 2009.
This New Year's Day is calmer for me this time around. This is the first one where I have felt less turmoil. You see, my mom passed away on New Year's Day in 2006 and I thought that even though it is a customary day of new beginnings, that I would hate the day forever. On the first anniversary of her passing, it was so hard, but I made it through. Then last year, I started to turn a corner in many ways and it got a bit easier. Well, this year, I am just in a better place inside, so peace came when I wasn't noticing :-) So instead of mourning my mom last night when it turned over to midnight, I rejoiced in the fact that she loved life and she showed me how to live it. I thought about her in ways that I was unable to in all the time since she passed away. And that's okay...and as they say...time does heal and looking within has helped me too. I'm still going to have days when I will cry or even scream because I wish I could pick up the phone and call her when things get rough, and that's normal because I'm human. But today I feel like morning has come into my life a bit more again :-) I love you Mama!
Brit Boy and I had another trip into London on Wednesday for our only true addiction….going to concerts. LOL. We went to see Simply Red. They are going to disband sometime next year, after 25 years by that point, so we just had to go and see them do their thing. The lead singer Mick Hucknall, will still record as a solo artist.
We got home Thursday at about 2:30am, so I spent yesterday chilling and we got some rest and relived it in our heads. Now I can share what happened. It’s always thrilling to get a chance to go into London and going to a concert makes it even more fun.
On Wednesday, Brit Boy worked a half day and then he came home around noon. We had a bit of lunch, watched a bit of TV, and then we got all suited up to go out into the cold on the way to a hot time in the city :-) It has been very cold here lately, but then it’s winter isn’t it. Anyway, we took our faithful old coach/bus ride into London. There’s a company that runs trips to London and mostly everywhere around Britain that we usually take. You can either buy your own tickets and then just catch a ride to and from the concert with them or you can get a package deal and they get the tickets and give you the ride. We have done both things, but this time, we took the second option and got our tickets from the coach company. The perk with this is that they usually get you pretty good seats to the concerts. It’s a win win situation.
So we headed into town and parked our car and headed to our pickup point for the coach. When you get to the coach and check in, they give you an envelope with your tickets inside and you hop aboard. This time we got a seat right at the front, so we had full view of where we were headed. This was both thrilling and a bit terrifying. It was really cool to be able to see everything and to feel almost like we were being hurled through the air. The big window was all that was in front of us so it felt almost like flying and this was fun. But it also got a bit hairy at times because our coach driver had a lead foot and tailgated and switch lanes a bit wildly :-) Brit Boy and I both thought a couple of times that we might just be thrown right out of that big, lovely window in front of us and onto the motorway/freeway as the coach driver slammed on the brakes many times. Eeeek!!! Let’s just say, our hearts were in our mouths for about 60% of the trip :-) We survived and felt like kissing the ground when we stepped off the coach. LOL.
On a calmer note, when I peeled my eyes away from what was happening ahead of us, I would glance out the side window and the view was wonderful. You can see so much from that high up. I’ve traveled that road many times to London, but from this vantage point, it was like seeing parts of it for the first time. I saw streams that were hidden in the woods and beautiful country houses that I didn’t know were there.
When we were almost there, the coach stopped for a bathroom and refreshment break at a rest stop. We were given about thirty minutes. Brit Boy and I went and had a cup of coffee. I had a coffee that was chocolate cookie flavored. It was really tasty. Brit Boy had a regular cappuccino. We stopped at this same rest stop on a trip before, and had fun playing with the various carnival-esque machines there. This time we didn’t bother. The machines are right near the entrance and the freezing air was whooshing in each time the doors opened. The time before, it was summer so it was lots of fun, and there were no icicles hanging off of us :-) The time passed quickly and we were all back onto the coach to finish the journey.
About thirty minutes later, we arrived at the O2. As I’ve mentioned before, it’s a cool venue. It is on the Greenwich Peninsula and sits right on the edge of the River Thames. It was formerly known as the Millenium Dome. It sits there beautifully with the lights of Canary Wharf in the background. London is a fun spot at night. It has a groovy vibe.
Brit Boy and I walked along with a spring in our step…we were heading to our favorite thing…music!!!! :-) As we walked along the walkway to the complex, we noticed that they had a small Christmas market. Here’s a photo of the little castle they had set up.
On from that, they had a few stalls set up. We didn’t really linger for very long because it was an icy cold night and the breeze off the river was positively bone chilling. I knew that it was cold because Brit Boy, who is usually always hot, was running towards the building to get away from the cold (smile). Now that’s cold!!! So we scampered on inside.
The O2 was decked out for Christmas. One of my favorite things is the huge light fixture that hangs in the entry area. It is usually white or blue, but this time it had a colorful strobe going on. We walked around the outer ring of the arena, where all of the restaurants and clubs are…great people watching. Everything was even more sparkly than usual with all of the holiday cheer being spread around. They had a snowboarding/sledding area set up and kids from 8 to 80 were having a go at it. I would have loved to, but the line was long. Here’s a photo though with the little chalet to the side. The photo is kinda blurry, but you can get the idea. Brit Boy and I took the photos on his cell phone and it was kind of chilly still, so our hands were shaking a bit. LOL.
They also had special ornamental lights hung around the place. Here’s a pretty sparkly one.
And they were projecting snowflakes onto the roof and it created a great wintry atmosphere. Here’s a look.
Soon it was time to go in for the concert. It was AMAZING!!! I have always liked their music and I always thought that Mick Hucknall had a lovely set of pipes, but I was simply blown away…Brit Boy was too. Wow! You can definitely tell that this group has a powerful connection and a history because they know just how to put out the best performances and take you along for the ride. The musicians are true pros and the backup singers are amazing! They are all so good that it makes the performance seem effortless. But then I guess that that is what truly talented people do :-) And Mick Hucknall….he has a soulful voice that can just send absolute chills down your spine because he is so good, as many of you already know. Dang…he can REALLY SING!!! :-) The song they opened with was “It’s Only Love”…great song! I tell you, I always loved their sound and I always loved Mick’s voice, but seeing them live and hearing his truly divine voice in person is just an experience that I won’t ever forget. The recordings don’t do his voice justice. And I think that he might have had a slight cold, because he coughed once between the songs, but that was that. I guess with a voice like that, not much can shut you down :-)
They performed all of their hits and we loved it, including our favorite, “Holding Back the Years”. It brought tears to my eyes because his voice just soared to the heavens and as I’ve gone through my life, the words of that song just hit me deep. The part of the lyrics where he sings “I’ve wasted all my tears…wasted all those years”, it just means more to me as I go through my life. It makes me think that time waits for no one and sometimes you just have to let go and make room in your heart and you don’t want to look back at the end and see that all you did was mourn and regret your life away. This song helped me a lot when my mom passed away. In the beginning it made me cry of course, but as time went on, it became a salve of sorts and it made me see the greater picture of my life and the broad span of my mom’s life too and her legacy. The great restorative power of music has always been a comfort to me.
Near the middle of the show, Mick sang “You Make Me Feel Brand New” which was originally done by The Stylistics. Mick hit this one out of the park! The range of his voice is amazing and the raw emotion and passion that he puts into each note just sends you soaring with him. Here’s a video I found of him singing this song in concert. This is great, but I think he sang it even better when we saw him at the O2 :-)
The concert was great. Simply Red will be on tour into 2009, so if they come to your town or nearby, I hope you can catch this group before they disband. It’s all just true talent from top to bottom. You will find yourself singing along with every song. There was a great celebratory vibe and they are amazing! :-)
After the concert, we headed back to the coach and strapped ourselves in for the “adventurous” ride home ;-) Let’s just say, thankfully it was dark, so we couldn’t see enough to be scared. LOL. But we survived the trip thankfully and it was worth it in the end because we had a great night! The coach driver took the scenic route through Central London so we got a nice ride through the city, all decked out in its Christmas finery. What a cool night in more ways than one!
Today is a milestone for me. This is my 100th post!!!! I’m thrilled that I’ve made it this far. (smile) When I started off on this journey, I didn’t know where it would go…I just knew that it was the thing for me to do. When I started out back in March of this year, I was in a different place in my heart and mind. Even though I was coming into my second year of being here, I was just starting to find my footing. My life felt like a whirlwind and the uproar was just beginning to subside. I had been feeling that my life was adrift almost and I was mourning the loss of my roots. I knew that I had to find something that was mine in order to ground myself here in this new place.
Some may question that I found what I needed in a blog. But, yeah, I did. It illuminated the way for me…it was an outlet. I could have continued with just writing in my journals, but I felt that I was turning too inward since I’ve been here, so a blog was the nudge that I needed. And it has helped me to see the humor and fun in life again as I examine my thoughts. Writing has always been a comfort to me in my life and I’ve kept journals off and on since I was a kid. In times of turmoil in my life, I always turned to writing it out. I wrote on the day that my daddy passed, because at twelve, I didn’t know what to do with myself that day. I was lonely that day and it helped somewhat to write out my fears. Writing was still my friend on the very first day of the year, many years later, when my mom passed away. Even though I was a grown woman, and not a twelve year old, I still didn’t know what to do with myself or my thoughts. So when I don’t have anyone to talk to, I find peace in just writing it out.
And thank you to all of my blogging friends and readers and commenters for supporting me and my blog. (smile) I’m just so grateful to have found you all when I needed you.
